celebrate what you want to see more of

I've been struggling with reconciling the WIC and reality, and this week it's manifested in whether or not I should create an account on The Knot (and subsequently, a web site).

In the end, I did create an account (you can find me under AndeeC09). Because even though the 700+ To Do List is a bit over the top (understatement of the year?), and even though a lot of the content comes off as competitive propaganda (throw the best reception evar!!1!), and even though the "Just Engaged" badge makes me want to quit altogether (it's an obviously female hand displaying a diamond that's practically the size of her fist...because, you know, it's not an engagement ring unless it can feed a third world country), this is where most people turn first.

It took me months to discover what I affectionately call the Wedding Underground, and even then it was only because I was so fed up with the WIC (have you SEEN the Not Yet Engaged boards? They are exactly what is wrong with the WIC*) that I was close to tears at the sheer unrealistic nature of it all.

But if only one person finds me on The Knot, if only one person visits either my little blog, or is moved to search for alternatives, or is reassured that the WIC way is not the only way, and that they are not alone in feeling thus, then awesome.

As Tom Peters puts it best: Celebrate what you want to see more of.

I want to see more offbeat, practical, creative minds coming together to have their day, their way. Not the way that has been marketed to them as the Be All, End All.


*Which isn't to say there shouldn't be a Not Engaged Yet board or community. But my god, I found this community specifically to be the epitome of cattiness and opinionated self-indulgence. Not to mention that posters can get away with being - frankly - rude as hell to each other. It is not a safe place, in short, and I think it fosters a lot of ugliness that we should not be enabling.