i contain multitudes

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then - I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes. ~ Walt Whitman

Isn't that just an elegant concept? I love it. It would make an excellent tattoo, I think. Might have to shelve that one for later!

I think one of the reasons I'm not overly-enthusiastic about posting is that my enthusiasm for all things weddings is only one small glass shard in the mosaic of Me. And since it's not something I'm thinking about all the time, it's not something I want to blog about all the time. Indeed lately, it's been far from my mind. Most of this is intentional on my end. It seems like every time I make a decision, suggest an idea, or solicit opinions, I regret it. It's like there's this little orb of wedding light glowing softly in my chest, and every time someone in my life makes this process more difficult, it grows a little dimmer.

And I'm worried I don't have enough energy to sustain it right now. I texted my fiance just today, declaring that I no longer wanted a wedding (we're still over a year out, for goodness sakes!) and frankly, it just sucks to feel that way! Especially when it's the people whom you love most stamping out that little light, the people whom you least expected it from.

So! What can we expect from here on out? In addition to wedding talk, there will be Geek Speak. I'm into video games (currently Star Wars: The Old Republic) and Dungeons & Dragons, as well as table top strategy games. There will probably be Ink Speak. I love tattoos. I have three (...four, technically I suppose!) and am going to get more. I love to read, though I've read precious few books this year. I hope to remedy that, and maybe brush up on my book review skills. I think it's important to really be able to articulately express why I liked a book, instead of just fangirling until I'm breathless. There will most likely be talk of my cats, who are my fur babies, less talk about my family and friends, and perhaps a bit here and there about what I'm doing to get healthy, physically and mentally.

Oh, and expect a lot on fantasy football. This is my first year as an owner, and I've completely embraced it.

That's still not the entire mosaic, but it's sure a start!

Not me. But if she was shorter and a tad less curvy, with a pixie crop...well it could be close ;)

 So Pretteh.

Tuesday Treasures!

Wherein I attempt to force myself to post more frequently and consistently under the guise of a corny theme.

While I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about our wedding, I've not done much to actually plan anything. Partly this is because every time I mention making any kind of decision, my parents overwhelm me with "IT'S OVER A YEAR AWAY WHY ARE YOU RUSHING??!1?" and partly because I just haven't developed a cohesive "wedding vision" yet (whatever the heck that is).

And frankly, partly because I feel like I have some elements so under control (...in my head, anyway) that I'll run out of things to plan six months out (which intellectually I know is unlikely, but emotionally is hard not to fear).

So I backed off. I made a conscious effort at first, and then just became naturally distracted by other things. Things like Fantasy Football and Star Wars: The Old Republic and moving four buildings over, within the same apartment complex (we WAY outgrew our teeny one-bedroom of the past two and a half years).

In looking back through some old wedding magazines, purging for the move, I've found that they don't interest me at all anymore (who knows how long THAT will last). They bore me to tears or frustrate the bejeezus out of me, and I don't have time, patience, or money for that. I used to buy them frequently (both pre- and post-engagement) for the advice columns (which were always so fun and illuminating at the time, but which now I rarely agree with) and for the featured weddings, viewing the thousands of advertisements featuring shiny lush fluff as a bonus.

And it dawned on me that what I love about wedding magazines truly is the real weddings they feature. More and more recently, those sections are where I turn first. But even those "real" weddings in the magazines are rarely ever what I would consider practical weddings. They're hardly ever the type of wedding I would want to go to, and even less often are the type of wedding I actually want.

When they do feature decor or flowers or a neat little quirky favor and I source it, inevitably the total cost is astronomically more than I can afford to spend (and sometimes, as is the case with the two caterers I'm comparing, is just plain more than I'm willing to spend. A crucial distinction).

And that's ok in the realm of wedding magazines. Wedding magazines for me, up until now, have been a lush indulgence...like chocolate truffles dusted in gold glitter (chocolate and sparkle. COME ON). The "inspiration" within was never really something I considered practical or feasible. But I've only just recently been able to begin understanding what that truly means.

For the time-being, I'm swearing off wedding magazines. Instead, I'm going to turn my attention to wedding blogs that feature REAL weddings. And I'm also going to focus on pulling my own pictures from real weddings - the ones that are featured in portfolios of the wedding photographers I've been discovering on a regular basis.

And I am really, really excited to see where this takes me in terms of my "wedding vision". I'm by no means There yet, but I'm on my way!

The Plunge Project

Exciting news! I was accepted as a contributing blogger for The Plunge Project! And, my first post went live today! Check it out!

The Wedding Registry Round-Up

I know I've been horribly neglectful of my poor little blog, but I intend to remedy that soon. Long story short, work has been frantic, we've been booked solid with social obligations over the past few weekends, and to top it off, we moved apartments this past weekend.

Now that we're mostly settled in, I hope to get back to blogging regularly.

Upcoming topics include, but are not limited to, Wedding Colors (or Why They Make Me Want to Pull My Hair Out), The Dress, and Fantasy Football.

See you soon!