While I've been spending a lot of time lately thinking about our wedding, I've not done much to actually plan anything. Partly this is because every time I mention making any kind of decision, my parents overwhelm me with "IT'S OVER A YEAR AWAY WHY ARE YOU RUSHING??!1?" and partly because I just haven't developed a cohesive "wedding vision" yet (whatever the heck that is).
And frankly, partly because I feel like I have some elements so under control (...in my head, anyway) that I'll run out of things to plan six months out (which intellectually I know is unlikely, but emotionally is hard not to fear).
So I backed off. I made a conscious effort at first, and then just became naturally distracted by other things. Things like Fantasy Football and Star Wars: The Old Republic and moving four buildings over, within the same apartment complex (we WAY outgrew our teeny one-bedroom of the past two and a half years).
In looking back through some old wedding magazines, purging for the move, I've found that they don't interest me at all anymore (who knows how long THAT will last). They bore me to tears or frustrate the bejeezus out of me, and I don't have time, patience, or money for that. I used to buy them frequently (both pre- and post-engagement) for the advice columns (which were always so fun and illuminating at the time, but which now I rarely agree with) and for the featured weddings, viewing the thousands of advertisements featuring shiny lush fluff as a bonus.
And it dawned on me that what I love about wedding magazines truly is the real weddings they feature. More and more recently, those sections are where I turn first. But even those "real" weddings in the magazines are rarely ever what I would consider practical weddings. They're hardly ever the type of wedding I would want to go to, and even less often are the type of wedding I actually want.
When they do feature decor or flowers or a neat little quirky favor and I source it, inevitably the total cost is astronomically more than I can afford to spend (and sometimes, as is the case with the two caterers I'm comparing, is just plain more than I'm willing to spend. A crucial distinction).
And that's ok in the realm of wedding magazines. Wedding magazines for me, up until now, have been a lush indulgence...like chocolate truffles dusted in gold glitter (chocolate and sparkle. COME ON). The "inspiration" within was never really something I considered practical or feasible. But I've only just recently been able to begin understanding what that truly means.
For the time-being, I'm swearing off wedding magazines. Instead, I'm going to turn my attention to wedding blogs that feature REAL weddings. And I'm also going to focus on pulling my own pictures from real weddings - the ones that are featured in portfolios of the wedding photographers I've been discovering on a regular basis.
And I am really, really excited to see where this takes me in terms of my "wedding vision". I'm by no means There yet, but I'm on my way!