Friday, October 5, 2012

the ceremony (or, what a quaint tradition!)

From Style Me Pretty

Wedding planning has sort of been put on the backburner for the time-being. Probably until next year (by which I mean January 2013, not next October!). People don't often talk about the Whys of why wedding planning can be so difficult, only that parts of it will be difficult. And trying. And exhausting. And, frankly, utterly discouraging. Because beyond All The Things and Wedding Elves and Endless Lists...the real people causing stress are often our loved ones. That is a post that's been percolating with me for awhile, now but I'm not quite ready to go there yet.

Instead, I've been avoiding wedding magazines like the plague but keeping with a few of my favorite blogs, which got me thinking about what it all means, and why we put up with it at all. When one of my sister's got married two years ago, she proudly exclaimed that her ceremony was going to be ten minutes, tops! And then it was going to be all party-party-party. At the time, I was relieved, and didn't question this. Woohoo! I thought. I don't have to stand up in front of about eighty people in heels that were comfortable for the first half an hour but quickly killed thereafter.

Likewise, I'm in the wedding of two friends coming up in a week and a half, and the bride also had this nonchalant attitude about the ceremony. This, let's get it over with and be done with it! Ceremonies are boring! Ours will be 15 minutes IF THAT! And when she first mentioned this, I didn't think twice. Nobody goes to weddings for the ceremony! Of course it should be short. It's courtesy, isn't it? To not make your guests sit in uncomfortable folding chairs when all they really want to do is chow down on your awesome finger food hors d'oeuvres and take serious advantage of the open bar?

And today, it dawned on me: this mentality, for me, is...well...decidedly NOT for me. The ceremony IS exactly what it's all about. The reason for the reception is to celebrate the marriage of two individuals, a marriage that most often (though not always) occurs in a meaningful ceremony prior to the crazy party.

So why is it becoming the least significant part of the day? Why are people eager to rush through this *once-in-a-lifetime experience?

From Style Me Pretty

I'm planning on keeping our ceremony around 25-30 minutes, and our guests will just have to deal with it. This is what it's about, this sharing of vows and love between two partners, the birth of a baby family, the support of our families of origin, friends who are like family, and everyone inbetween.

How long was your ceremony? What was your favorite part?

*even if it's not your first marriage, it's likely your first marriage to a particular person, and that in itself is a novel experience

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